Saturday, December 31, 2016
Friday, December 30, 2016
Friday, December 23, 2016
What is abandonment?
Are you feeling like you are suffering the emotional and psychological pain of unresolved abandonment issues from your past in the here-and-now? Do you feel stuck? Do you feel like you just can’t find the right partner? Are you lonely? Do you feel less than everyone else? Do you have a sense of something inside that causes you pain - pain that you find ways to distract yourself from? Pain that you may drink or take drugs or feel a need to be highly chaotic and intense relationships to avoid? To one degree or another everyone experiences some feelings or perception of abandonment in childhood. Some, however, are more injured or wounded emotionally and psychologically than others. As a life coach I work with many who are not happy, feeling stuck, have not been able to successfully have a happy and healthy relationship and often don’t understand why. Over-focusing on partners and ex-partners or even still the judgments or values of parents instead of looking within. Does this sound familiar? Would you like to stop hurting? You will benefit from understanding abandonment and its lasting issues.
Abandonment is often misunderstood by many. It is much more than emotional or physical abandonment. Too many people think that of abandonment in such narrow ways they fail to realize how it may well apply to them. Abandonment, unresolved abandonment sits at the core of emotional suffering, hopelessness, depression, polarized thinking, distorted thinking, feeling worthless, feeling helpless, feeling needy, codependence, personality disorders, dysfunctional and/or toxic relationships, abuse, and not really knowing who you are or what you may want out of your life. Unresolved abandonment will keep you stuck in the past when what you need to create positive and healthy change in your life is an awareness of your feelings of unresolved abandonment and how they are holding you back and why.
Abandonment has often been thought of by many to be of a physical nature – as in desertion and neglect or primarily of an emotional nature – as in when a child is not nurtured or given the necessary attention and healthy love to feel safe and secure.
- a feeling
- a feeling of disconnection
- a feeling of loss
- an aloneness and longing loneliness
- intense feelings of being devastated when a relationship ends
- fearing loss so much that one is too afraid to even risk being connected
- a mother leaving her child
- a father leaving his child
- death of a pet
- loss of a job or career
- a boy or girl realising they are homosexual and fearing rejection
- being rejected
- lack of purpose
- not knowing who you are
- a child’s agitation in response to emotionally unavailable parents
- death of a loved one
- loss of a friend
- a woman alone after her husband cheats on her
- a divorce
- a cold distant parent
- a family’s “don’t talk” rule
- being emotionally, sexually, or verbally abused
Abandonment is a deep and abiding wound at the epicentre or heart of human experience. It is a painful and empty feeling.
We will all experience some type of abandonment or other in the course of our lives. What makes an abandonment experience, in adulthood, devastating to the point it may render us stuck and dysfunctional in one way or another is the degree to which we have an unresolved stockpile of abandonment issues from childhood.
If one has experienced the most prolific and painful wound of all, the core wound of abandonment without any balance for that experience, any subsequent loss and/or abandonment in life can turn your life upside down. Each and every loss or abandonment is experienced as it happens with the added pain of layers and layers of repressed pain and unresolved grief.
In her book, The Journey From Abandonment to Healing, Susan Anderson writes the following, “What is abandonment? people ask. Is it about people in search of their mothers? Or people left on someone else’s doorstep as children?”
“I answer: Every day there are people who feel as if life itself has left them on a doorstep or thrown them away. Abandonment is about loss of love itself, that crucial loss of connectedness. It often involves breakup, betrayal, aloneness – something people can experience all at once, or on after another over a period of months, or even years later as an after shock.”
“Abandonment means different things to different people. It is an extremely personal and individual experience. Sometimes it is lingering grief caused by old losses. Sometimes it is fear. Sometime if can be a n invisible barrier holding us back from forming relationships, from reaching our true potential. It sometimes take the form of self-sabotage. We get caught up in patterns of abandonment.”
Anderson adds that, “Abandonment is a psychobiological process.” She points out that brain science continues to shed new light on biological and chemical processes that contribute to our response to loss.
Abandonment literally means to completely and finally leave, physically or emotionally. Abandonment is a surrendering of responsibility to a child. It is a withdrawal, a discontinuation of care, nurture, love, and/or support.
Abandonment on a psychological level is a detachment from the kind of emotional involvement that means one is emotionally available to and for one’s child.
Being emotionally unavailable to take care of the physical and/or emotional/psychological needs of a child can result from a mother being simply inexperienced, or depressed, being addicted to drugs and/or alcohol,having her own unresolved abandonment wounds threaten to rise up as the baby cries for comfort.
The abandoning detachment may result in a mother or primary care-taker’s inability to cope effectively with the neediness of an infant or with the demanding nature of an infant. It may mean that a mother or care-taker has low frustration tolerance. It may mean that a mother or care-taker doesn’t know how to effectively cope and meet many of her own needs and when a young child’s needs compete, if you will, with her unmet needs, the result from the mother or care-taker may be any degree of anger that ranges from impatience to frustration, or from hostility to agitation, or from annoyance to rage.
Young infants will pick up on impatience, annoyance, hostility and agitation. They do not have to experience outwardly expressed anger or rage or yelling to get a sense of a lack of nurture and to feel and experience abandonment.
Abandonment is also present for any child whose parent is not only inconsistent but incongruent in their response to the needs of the child. Being there one time when a young infant cries, then not being there the next five times, then being there again sort of thing will result in a child feeling abandoned and leave that child struggling to feel safe with any sense of attachment to that parent or care-giver.
Abandonment is often not one huge negating or abusive act. It can often be a series of failures on the part of the parent to meet the needs of the young child. Anything less than dependable, consistent and congruent reasonable nurture, support, and soothing, will more times than not result in an abandonment experience and cause the child to have abandonment anxiety.
Abandonment of a child also happens when one abuses a child in any way shape or form, be it once, or be it continually. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, emotional and/or psychological abuse, spiritual abuse, threats, intimidation and any and all attempts to in any way control a child (other than setting limits in a healthy care-taking way) all constitute the abandonment of a child. Even parents fighting among themselves, yelling, screaming, and swearing are emotionally/psychologically abandoning the needs of their children.
Children need to be safe and need to feel safe. They need security and relative predictability in their care-givers/parents.
The impact of abandonment, in and of itself, can and does create personality disordered people. It matters. It is real. It is not just, if it is at all, some all-too-sensitive proclivity on the part of the child. Children are never to blame for what they experience when they are too young to even decode what that experience means. They are not, however, ever, too young to feel the results of abandonment – namely, fear, anxiety, need-frustration, discomfort, lack of being soothed, and terror to name a few. These young infants/children cannot decipher these feelings. They are taken in and on by the child as the child’s fault. They are, as the child gets older, internalized. They are experienced as shaming. They interfere with the child’s ability to develop in healthy ways psychologically.
Abandonment, in all its forms, changes very young lives. It interferes with and impedes normal healthy development. Abandonment sets the stage for relational difficulty at best and Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (in some people, both) at worst along with years of deep intra-psychic pain and inter-personal relational dysfunction. Abandonment negatively effects one’s ability to emotionally and psychologically mature to be age-appropriate relationally. This has a very negative and painful consequence in relationships in adulthood until and unless this unresolved abandonment is addressed.
You do not have to be diagnosed with a mental illness or personality disorder, however, to have impacting unresolved abandonment in your life that you will benefit from becoming more aware of. Abandonment and its consequences among humanity manifests itself on a spectrum. Unresolved abandonment does keep people stuck in negative core beliefs from childhood that can be the root of self-sabotage, professional or career sabotage, and/or relationship sabotage as well.
If you feel unhappy, stuck, blocked, lonely, like you are not accomplishing your goals, or that you are depressed or things just can’t change, you will benefit from life coaching with me to talk about thought patterns, relationships patterns, decision-making skills or lack therof to name but a few signs that you may well be dealing with unresolved abandonment in your life.
IF YOU HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES WHICH ARE STILL CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE CALL US WE CAN HELP YOU RECOVER FROM THIS INJURY, AND HELP YOU RESTORE YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AND YOUR LIFE. SKYPE PROGRAMS AVAILABLE TO ALL ACROSS THE WORLD. PH 0432 944 027 EMAIL email@example.com
Friday, December 16, 2016
Thursday, December 15, 2016
Staying safe in recovery this holiday season.
Loneliness and Sadness Come and Go
This time of year brings us face to face with powerful emotions as we may remember past holidays we have spent with loved ones we have lost. It is good to remember how much people meant to us who are now gone. Strangely this is a part of what makes these days so special and sacred.
Loneliness and sadness are emotions that we can shift. If we share our feelings with other loved ones we find that the feelings dissipate. If we connect with our local church group, synagogue, 12-Step meeting, yoga community or meditation sangha, we can find the connection we crave. However, if we choose to be alone with our sadness and loneliness it tends to build up and leave us in a painful and potentially dangerous space.
Choose Not To Be Alone
The holidays are a time for coming together. Whatever thought you may have that keeps you alone at this time, challenge it. If you feel like you have no family to be with, then choose to be with friends. If you feel like you have no friends then go down to the soup kitchen and serve food to the homeless over the holidays. There, you will find kindness, compassion and human connection. You will be in the solution to addiction.
Start with a meeting and set the tone for your week
If you are going home or traveling anywhere, when you arrive, go to a meeting first. For some this will mean a 12-Step meeting or another kind of recovery meeting. Do this first before you get pulled into the energies of family or whomever you are with.
Recognise and Confront the Saboteur
Be aware of the mind’s/ego’s tendency to sabotage your efforts. Your mind will be working overtime to get you to break your commitments to yourself. Of course it is going to happen as you approach the holidays. Just bringing awareness to this tendency returns you to presence. Nothing more is needed. Once aware of it, it will lose its power as long as you remain conscious.
If things get uncomfortable for you, take a walk, go to a meeting or yoga class or call up a mentor, trusted friend or sponsor. You do not have to sit in an uncomfortable situation. You can always just take a break. This simple strategy has made the difference for me on more than one occasion.
No Need to Fit in, You Fit Perfectly in You
Resist the temptation to fall back into old agreementswith family or friends that no longer serve the “you” that you have become. At the same time, we must resist the temptation of trying to seek approval for who we’ve grown into. Often, people will resent this or not see you in the same light you see yourself. This can bring up big-time resentment and leave your holidays feeling less than holy.
Be in the Attitude of Service
Show up this holiday season knowing your cup is full enough to be of service to others. Service can take many forms. You can feel the homeless, of course. And you can also show up with a good attitude to be with your family. Help them cook, clean up. Be present as much as you can. Ask them how they are doing and practice being a great listener. You will soon find that you have contentment – the freedom from wanting or needing anything.
Stay on your recovery path. Ask for help if you need it. Never despair for there is a way through every block. Wishing you all a Happy Holidays. Each of us has so much to be grateful for.
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Tuesday, December 13, 2016
ADDICTION A CHRONIC BRAIN DISEASE not simply a behavioural problem.
Addiction is a chronic brain disorder and not simply a behaviour problem involving alcohol, drugs, gambling or sex, experts contend in a new definition of addiction, one that is not solely related to problematic substance abuse.
The American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) just released this new definition of addiction after a four-year process involving more than 80 experts.
"At its core, addiction isn't just a social problem or a moral problem or a criminal problem. It's a brain problem whose behaviours manifest in all these other areas," said Dr. Michael Miller, past president of ASAM who oversaw the development of the new definition. "Many behaviours driven by addiction are real problems and sometimes criminal acts. But the disease is about brains, not drugs. It's about underlying neurology, not outward actions."
The new definition also describes addiction as a primary disease, meaning that it's not the result of other causes, such as emotional or psychiatric problems. And like cardiovascular disease and diabetes, addiction is recognized as a chronic disease; so it must be treated, managed and monitored over a person's lifetime, the researchers say.
Two decades of advancements in neuroscience convinced ASAM officials that addiction should be redefined by what's going on in the brain. For instance, research has shown that addiction affects the brain's reward circuitry, such that memories of previous experiences with food, sex, alcohol and other drugs trigger cravings and more addictive behaviours. Brain circuitry that governs impulse control and judgment is also altered in the brains of addicts, resulting in the nonsensical pursuit of "rewards," such as alcohol and other drugs.
A long-standing debate has roiled over whether addicts have a choice over their behaviours, said Dr. Raju Hajela, former president of the Canadian Society of Addiction Medicine and chair of the ASAM committee on addiction's new definition.
"The disease creates distortions in thinking, feelings and perceptions, which drive people to behave in ways that are not understandable to others around them," Hajela said in a statement. "Simply put, addiction is not a choice. Addictive behaviours are a manifestation of the disease, not a cause."
Even so, Hajela pointed out, choice does play a role in getting help. "Because there is no pill which alone can cure addiction, choosing recovery over unhealthy behaviours is necessary," Hajela said.
This "choosing recovery" is akin to people with heart disease who may not choose the underlying genetic causes of their heart problems but do need to choose to eat healthier or begin exercising, in addition to medical or surgical interventions, the researchers said.
"So, we have to stop moralizing, blaming, controlling or smirking at the person with the disease of addiction, and start creating opportunities for individuals and families to get help and providing assistance in choosing proper treatment," Miller said.
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Saturday, December 10, 2016
Why do you stay in prison, when the door is so wide open ??
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Thursday, December 8, 2016
Adult Children of Alcoholics:
The Signs and Characterisitcs
As follows are the behavioral characteristics of adults that are the grown children of alcoholics or drug abusers. These characteristics can also be seen in grown children raised by parents that do not have an alcohol or drug problem, but the parents were raised by an alcoholic. These characteristics span generations. If these characteristics ring a bell with you, or are characteristic of a client you may be working with, suggest therapeutic assistance.
• Fear of losing control. ACOA’s maintain control of their feelings, their behavior, and try to control the feelings and behavior of others. They do not do this to hurt either themselves or others, but because they are afraid. They fear that their lives will get worse if they relinquish control, and they get very anxious when they cannot control a situation.
• Fear of feelings. ACOA’s have buried their feelings (especially anger and sadness) since childhood and cannot feel or express emotions easily. Eventually they fear all intense feelings, even a good feeling such as joy.
• Fear of conflict. ACOA’s are frightened by people in authority, angry people, and personal criticism, so that they often mistake common assertiveness on the part of others for anger. As a result of this fear ACOA’s are constantly seeking approval, and they lose their identities in the process. They often find themselves in a self-imposed state of isolation.
• An over developed sense of responsibility. ACOA’s are hypersensitive to the needs of others. Their self-esteem comes from others’ opinions of them, and thus they have a compulsive need to be perfect.
• Feelings of guilt when they stand up for themselves instead of demurring to others. ACOA’s sacrifice their own needs in an effort to be “responsible”, and therefore avoid guilt.
• An inability to relax, to let go, and have fun. Trying to have fun is stressful for ACOA’s, especially when others are watching. The child inside is terrified, and in an effort to appear perfect, exercises such strict control that spontaneity suffers.
• Harsh, even fierce, self-criticism. ACOA’s are burdened with a very low sense of self-respect, no matter how competent they may be.
• Denial. Whenever ACOA’s feel threatened, they tend to deny that which provoked their fears.
• Difficulties with intimate relationships. Intimacy gives ACOA’s the feeling of losing control, and requires self-love and the ability to express one’s needs. As a result, ACOA’s frequently have difficulty with their sexuality, and they repeat relationship patterns.
• They see themselves as victims. ACOA’s may be either aggressive or passive victims, and they are often attracted to others like them in their friendship, love, and career relationships.
• Compulsive behavior. ACOA’s may work or eat compulsively, become addicted to a relationship, or behave compulsively in other ways. Tragically, ACOA’s may drink compulsively, and become alcoholics themselves.
• A tendency to be more comfortable with chaos than with peace. ACOA’s become addicted to excitement and drama, which can give them their fix of adrenaline and the feeling of power which accompanies it.
• The tendency to confuse love with pity. As a result, ACOA’s often love people they can rescue.
• Fear of abandonment. ACOA’s will do anything to preserve a relationship, rather than face the pain of abandonment.
• Cognitive Dissonance. The tendency, when under pressure, to see everything and everyone in extremes. All or nothing thinking. Perceptions that everything should be laid out in black and white.
• Physical illness. ACOA’s are very susceptible to stress-related illnesses.
• Suffering from a backlog of grief. Losses experienced during childhood were often never grieved for, since the alcoholic family does not tolerate such intensely uncomfortable feelings. Current losses cannot be felt without calling up these past feelings. As a result, ACOA’s are frequently depressed.
• A tendency to react rather than to act. ACOA’s remain hyper-vigilant, constantly scanning the environment for potential catastrophes’.
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Codependency and Love Addiction
(How the two interact)
The Core Problem of Codependency is a bruised relationship with oneself.
There are 5 Core Symptoms of Codependency:
- Difficulty loving the self (self esteem)
- Difficulty protecting oneself by functional boundaries with others.
- Difficulty knowing one’s reality and owning it.
- Difficulty with self-care.
- Difficulty expressing one’s reality in moderation.
There also 5 Secondary Symptoms of Codependency
- Negative control: controlling others or allowing others to control them. Both choices cause a codependent to project responsibility on to others for their own inability to be internally comfortable within themselves.
- Resentment: Blaming others for the inability to protect themselves with healthy boundaries.
- Impaired spirituality: Makes someone else their Higher Power through hate, fear, or worship. Or tries to be someone else's Higher Power.
- Addictions, or mental illness or physical illness. This inability to face reality stems from lack of functional internal sense of self and sense of adequacy. There is a desire to be taken care of.
- Difficulty with intimacy. When a codependent has difficulty knowing who s/he is, and what her reality is, s/he cannot share in a healthy way since intimacy means sharing one’s reality. When one does not share, there is no way to check out immature perceptions, so codependent continues to have painful problems in relationship with others. Codependents often try to fix or change a partner, justify themselves, argue about the other person’s reality, abuse the partner with sarcasm, ridicule, name calling, exaggeration, or so-called “honesty”.
How Love Addiction is More Than Codependency
The Love Addict has difficulty with symptoms of codependency, then chooses addictive behaviors and internal process to compensate. A Love Addict seeks to enmesh, to blend into another person. Underneath all of this is both a fear of abandonment and a fear of healthy intimacy, even if they pretend to look for it.
When the codependent corrects behavior, they can manage their life. But the Love Addict goes through severe withdrawal. ” Love Addiction like other addictive processes is an obsessive-compulsive process used to relieve or medicate intolerable reality.”
Abandonment and Difficulty Connecting
Love Addicts did not bond well with their original caregivers when they were young children, experiencing a serious sense of abandonment. The message was, “Because you are worthless and unlovable, I will not care for you”.
This kind of neglect and early loss creates serious self-esteem injuries and exaggerated longing. Emotional needs are immense. Love Addicts have an enormous fear about being able to connect emotionally.
The Addictive High of Fantasy
Love Addicts compensate for lack of nurturing as children by immersing themselves in fantasy. Fantasies of being rescued or being the rescuer abound. Knights, dragons, romance novels- getting high from fantasy becomes habit.
When a Love Addict plays with fantasy, they can get high in about 10 minutes, and stay there for 2-3 hours. Endorphins are released into their system, relieving emotional pain.
Love Addicts begin relationships by trying too hard to please and connect. They are driven to find someone to tell them they are loveable and loved; to find someone who will rescue them from their inability to care for themselves; rescue them from their loneliness, emptiness, lack of self-love, inability to feel safe in the world without someone to protect them. They look for a relationship to make them feel whole.
Three main Characteristics of Love Addiction
1. Disproportionate amount of time and attention is spent on relationships. The love addict will obsessively think about, want to be with, touch, talk to, and listen to their partners. They rate this person as superior to themselves, or having more power. They make this person their Higher Power, but rarely know this is happening.
Unrealistic expectations for unconditional positive regard from other person.
2. Love Addicts want to be cared for and treasured by another, and are always disappointed. No one can satisfy their insatiable desires. They will go to great lengths to get partners to fulfill the big fantasy they have been holding in their minds for so long. They get very angry when their fantasy isn’t matched.
3. They neglect to care for or value self while in relationship. – even if they can fare perfectly well when alone. A common example is a man who never learns to do basic household things, preferring to depend on his partner.
Love Addicts are often attracted to Avoidance Addicts
Avoidance Addicts are not available for a relationship even if they pretend to be. They are often focused on addictions such as drug and alcohol use, work, or sexual affairs.
How can a Love Addict expect one who is avoiding intimacy to take care of them?
Repeating Cycle of Love Addicts in Relationship
First the Love Addict is attracted to the power and adulation of the Avoidance Addict (or another Love Addict).
Fantasy is triggered and the Love Addict feels high. "It's karma, destiny, chemistry, fate, we're soulmates."
The Love Addict feels relief from the pain of loneliness, emptiness and not mattering.
The Love Addict begins to enmesh with the partner, showing more neediness. Partner starts to move away, but Love Addict denies the reality of being abandoned by partner.
This denial protects against the agony of rejection and abandonment.
Eventually the Love Addict begins to be aware of the abandonment, and denial crumbles. May rage and get hysterical; may bargain, threaten. Extreme focus on partner; must know or think about what partner is doing at all times. Some will stalk, or obsessively call or textmessage. Others endure like silent martyrs. May call partner's boss, announce to others to gain sympathy. May dress more seductively, go on vacation with partner, have affairs, showing extreme neediness to lure partner back. Relationship becomes more and more toxic.
Love Addict enters withdrawal. (Avoidance Addict fares better – just leaves).
Love Addict’s original feelings of childhood are activated along with adult feelings of current abandonment. Pain, fear, anger, jealousy, emptiness, overwhelm, hopelessness.
Extremely intense depression and suicidal feelings. Fear becomes anxiety and panic. Anger becomes frustration, rage, or homicidal jealousy. As a result of this loss, the Love addict may also face loss of income, house, being a single parent.
Love Addict may be so overwhelmed that s/he goes into withdrawal or jumps to next point in cycle, obsession. This behavior shifts them outside of their painful feelings.
Love Addict now obsesses how to get the Avoidance Addict to return; or dreams about being rescued; or fantasizes about having a better lover; or ruminates how to get even with the Avoidance Addict partner; or contemplates indulging in another addiction like food or drugs to numb the pain; or plans another sexual encounter with a new partner to avoid being alone.
Love Addict now compulsively acts out the obsessive plans. Get drugs, food at 2am. playing internet games (candy crush etc) for hours and hours. Burn partner’s clothes. Go and beg partner to return, threaten suicide. Take overdose of pills. Kill partner, children and self. Go get laid.
Repeat cycle either with the returning partner or the ensnared new partner.
Progressive Stages of Love Addiction are Similar to Other Addiction Patterns
Increasing tolerance of inappropriate behavior from others
“Well he only hit me 3 times and I didn’t get many bruises.”
“She was only out once overnight this week.”
" I only threw the telephone.”
Surrender more and more responsibility to the other party.
Have them handle papers, make appointments, pick up children because “I just can’t remember”
Decrease In Self Care: Grooming declines, baggy clothes, disheveled look.
Numbness To Feelings. “I’m ok, fine” But they’re feeling pain, anger, fear, shame, jealously
Feeling Trapped or Stuck
Helpless to fix the relationship.
Helpless to escape pain by ending relationship.
Lost the ability to care for and value self.
Increasing despair, disillusionment, depression.
Loss of power, Loss of ability to respond.
Behavior can become bizarre.
The Final Stages
Feeling abused and becoming abusive.
Can only see out of a negative filter, missing the good things in partner.
Cannot see own immature irrational offensive behavior.
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